When the Ball is in Air: A Mediator's Perspective |#8

Where does Mediation live?  

You may find that question a bit odd.  

But it really is not.  

Mediation lives in its own time zone. 

Its own twilight zone. 

Not total reality. Not total fantasy.   

The lines are blurred. 

A time of endless possibilities. 

A good mediator works in this zone. 

And crafts a good resolution. 

It may surprise you to learn: 

➤ that blurred moment between desire and reality,  a moment that seems as if it hangs  for a lifetime, holds the promise of a good resolution

➤ that through mediation, you actually create the future of your case

➤ Mediation is less about reality than about vision.  And vision can be a good thing. 

ARE YOU READY TO RESOLVE MORE CASES THAN YOU EVER DID?

READY TO CREATE YOUR OWN FUTURE?

⚖️ I believe Successful Resolutions through Mediation are possible...when you implement the Relational Mediation Method I teach in each episode.

☎️ BOOK YOUR FREE 20-MINUTE C0NSULT to learn how mediation can save you time, reduce stress, reduce costs and make happier clients and happier you.

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Transcript

When the Ball is in Air_ A Mediator's Perspective__#8

There 

is 

always 

a 

moment 

or 

two 

of 

immense 

promise 

when 

everything 

seems 

possible. 

When 

you 

can 

envision 

everything 

good, 

it's 

a 

moment 

that 

can 

stop 

time 

and 

it 

can 

live 

for 

what 

seems 

like 

forever 

(···0.8s) 

and 

your 

mind, 

it 

hovers 

over 

you 

like 

heavy 

humidity 

on 

your 

chest. 

On 

a 

hot 

summer 

day 

in 

the 

Florida 

Everglades, 

the 

air 

is 

not 

moving 

at 

all. 

It 

makes 

you 

stop 

breathing 

(···0.7s) 

and 

it 

seems 

as 

if 

time 

has 

stopped. 

How 

about 

if 

I 

told 

you 

this 

moment? 

It 

exists 

for 

almost 

everything, 

every 

reaction 

and 

every 

reaction 

(···0.5s) 

that 

ever 

existed 

and 

that 

ever 

will 

be. 

That's 

a 

big 

boast, 

isn't 

it? 

Well, 

I 

will 

tell 

you, 

it's 

that 

blurred 

moment 

between 

desire 

(···0.7s) 

and 

reality. 

(···0.8s) 

A 

moment 

that 

seems 

as 

if 

it 

hangs 

(···0.8s) 

for 

a 

lifetime. 

It's 

kind 

of 

deep 

and 

profound, 

huh? 

Well, 

(···0.8s) 

not 

really. 

Some 

people 

just 

don't 

stop 

long 

enough 

to 

see 

it, 

to 

savor 

it. 

I 

do, 

and 

every 

football 

season 

that 

comes 

around, 

I 

do 

it 

over 

and 

over 

again, 

and 

every 

trial 

season 

that 

comes 

around 

in 

our 

business, 

I 

do 

it 

over 

and 

over 

again. 

(···0.8s) 

Let 

me 

give 

you 

an 

example. 

So 

every 

football 

season 

is 

filled 

with 

hope 

for 

me, 

for 

my 

high 

school 

team, 

for 

my 

son's 

high 

school 

team, 

for 

my 

pro 

team, 

for 

the 

flared 

team 

that 

my 

grandsons 

play 

on 

the 

New York 

Football 

Giants. 

(···0.8s) 

Before 

every 

season 

starts, 

I 

fill 

my 

head 

with 

visions 

of 

amazing 

plays, 

(···0.7s) 

long 

runs, 

(···0.5s) 

deep 

passes, 

sacks 

of 

opposing 

quarterbacks. 

I can see an undefeated season. I just know it's gonna happen. I see it over (···0.5s) and over again. (···0.8s) I feel like I not only see the future, (···0.8s) but I'm actually creating it. Oh boy. 

What if this was really the case? (···0.8s) Do I need to tell you that the giants have never had an undefeated season, (···0.7s) so why do I even try year in, year out gay men game out. Why is the glass always half full? (···0.6s) The truth is, for me, it's not even just half full. It's filled to the brim. (···0.6s) There is absolutely no room for any mistakes for any defeat. Isn't that an unreal approach to anything? 

What if I told you that many lawyers approach their cases this way and that it is not a bad thing at all? Hi there. (···0.6s) Tony Olo (···0.8s) mediator, retired attorney, (···0.7s) really recovering attorney. We've talked about this before, recovering from this beast of a business that we are engaged in, (···0.8s) covering from the daily stresses (···0.8s) that are almost unbearable, the large caseloads that never seem to go away, that only grow up, (···0.7s) that increased costs on every case. 

The clients who expect the world (···0.6s) immediately, the stresses that it places on our work and family life. I know because I've lived your life (···0.6s) and I know that you are experiencing these things. This podcast is created for you. This podcast is going to address those issues in your life, give you an opportunity to change (···0.5s) the paradigm that has existed in your life as the weight of all your unsolved cases become too heavy upon your back. 

Do you wanna resolve more cases? You can using mediation, and all you have to do is give me a call, www smart to mediate.com/book a call. 

(···0.6s) Let's have a conversation (···0.7s) about how to manage and beast of work. Let's get back to what we were talking about. (···0.8s) We were talking about that glass being half full (···0.8s) in relation to how you think about your cases. (···0.8s) We were talking about how every football season is filled with hope. We're talking about how every case you see and every case you get, you don't even anticipate the problems that it can have. 

You're just seeing it as half full. Is that reality? Is that what we really should be thinking about our cases and about our caseloads? It's just not reality, but it is vision (···0.8s) and vision can be a good thing. We'll drill down into that a little bit later. (···0.8s) So what is that moment in football that I absolutely love? The moment that I wait for every season, (···0.5s) that moment that only comes once (···0.8s) every season and that moment transcends time (···0.6s) and it transcends lives, even if it's only for a short time, I can tell you that moment is not the big pass. 

It's not the final score. It's not even the win that happens at that first game. By the way, it has nothing to do with winning. You might be saying to yourself, here he goes again. 

Tony's now talking about something that (···0.6s) has nothing to do with football. This doesn't involve Linean. (···0.7s) He's talking about a moment that transcends time. Is he going off on a tangent again? What does this have to do with mediations? What does this have to do with my caseload? Why am I even listening to this another way? (···0.7s) Don't hit the stop button. (···0.7s) Why are you listening to this? 

(···0.5s) I'll tell you why. (···0.6s) I'll tell you that this moment occurs before any passes are thrown or handoffs are made (···0.7s) before any interceptions or touchdowns. It occurs just before and during the kickoff that starts the game. That to me is the most meaningful moment (···0.6s) in football. You might say, this doesn't even make sense. The ball is kicked. 

It's in the air. The game has not even started. Time hasn't begun till the ball is caught. How could this be (···0.7s) the best moment for you in football? (···0.8s) Let me see if I can paint this picture for you. So put yourself in my shoes. It's the first real game of the year. (···0.6s) You are fresh off a tailgate at MetLife Stadium and you are with your friends and family, (···0.7s) some of which you have been going to the game with for 40 years. 

You have real strong relationships over the years, ones that will never ever be broken. You are in the comfort of seats that you have sat in for 40 years (···0.8s) surrounded by the people with you today, many of who are the sons and daughters of family and friends (···0.6s) who once stood tall right beside you (···0.8s) before the march of time (···0.5s) took its toll. (···0.7s) The ball is now placed upon the tee (···0.8s) and the kicker sets up for the kick. 

The stadium goes quiet. There it is. That's the moment. (···0.7s) It is a moment when all is perfect in the entire world that exists for your football, not just this game. It's a time when all the outcomes you dreamed of (···0.8s) are possible. The undefeated season, a ball kicks so far, it lands in your lap, (···0.8s) the giant score five tds a game (···0.6s) and break every NFL record, and I am here to see it all to live through it once more. 

All of that exists right through the kick as the ball flies through the air to meet its destiny and then, and then all hell breaks loose (···0.6s) and you no longer have control of the time or the future. 

All outcomes are not possible anymore. (···0.7s) Just the outcome that you have no control over. (···0.7s) And what if I told you that it is precisely this moment of all outcomes still existing. (···0.8s) That mediation (···0.8s) works within that mediation works within the timeless moment when everything can happen on your case. 

What if I told you that mediation is the ball in flight? Maybe you think I'm crazy, but I assure you (···0.5s) I am not. I am just a fan of the team (···0.8s) called mediation (···0.8s) and my vision of collaborative settlements and resolution become reality on every case I mediate. Some resolutions take longer than others to craft, (···0.7s) but good results always come to those who have the vision. 

Job as a mediator is to give you the vision (···0.6s) to see what the outcome (···0.6s) should be, not what you want, but certainly what you need. (···0.7s) So what if I pose that even if you can't always get what you want, (···0.7s) but if you try some time, you might just get what you need. 

Probably heard that before. (···0.6s) I know I have. And this, by the way, is what I pose. Mediation is really all about getting what you need. So let me encourage you to go to mediation with your cases, envisioning what you need, not what you want. I can guarantee you that if I am your mediator, I will uncover and discover what you need. 

We will discuss this together and come to good solutions. Mediation makes clients happier, makes you happier, saves incredible amounts of wasted time, saves costs, reduces caseloads, and I will tell you this too, it makes a happier and healthier you. I know (···0.5s) because this business (···0.8s) beat me up for 40 years, and I know that there is a better way than fighting the scourge of litigation on every single case you have. 

Like I said earlier, the glass is not half full. (···0.7s) It's brimming over with good results. You just have to envision them, decide you're going to take What you need. You need to make it what you want. You need to make what you want, being what your client needs. 

That is the secret of a good mediation, lack of control of cases. (···0.7s) Once the litigation game has started, (···0.7s) it's a horror show. (···0.7s) That's when you don't have control of the outcome anymore. You know when you go to court prepared to discuss your case (···0.8s) and the other is either late or not ready or doesn't show only. You have to sit there for three hours (···0.8s) sitting in a courtroom waiting to be called up to the bench to find this out, and then the case just gets summarily adjourned for three months. 

You need to decide that you wanna put an end to this cycle of litigation. (···0.8s) You need to embrace mediation as your friend (···0.8s) and why? Why would you delay the resolution of a case or leave the resolution (···0.7s) of a case in the litigation machine, the washing machine of the court system that just replays rewashes and re rinses every case? 

Shouldn't you want to have a say in how it settles, where it settles (···0.8s) and when it settles? Keep in mind that 95 to 98% of cases eventually settle before trial. This is not a secret. If this is the case, shouldn't you use all the tools available to you? I submit to you, there's no upside to delay. There's only downside. (···0.8s) If you answer yes to the question that I've posed and you want to move your cases (···0.5s) and you want to change your mindset to the full and brimming glass that I propose to you, and you wanna stop time and produce the result that you envision, yeah, you can do it. 

It's called focus. I have drilled down on this in other episodes and after finishing this episode, go back and listen for it. 

I 

have 

recovered 

from 

the 

daily 

grind 

of 

too 

many 

cases, 

demanding 

clients, 

uncertain 

results, 

increasing 

costs, 

meeting 

the 

headlines 

and 

all 

the 

other 

obstacles 

of 

personal 

injury 

work. 

(···0.8s) 

How 

did 

I 

recover? 

(···0.5s) 

Well, 

it 

took 

a 

heart 

attack 

(···0.7s) 

for 

me 

to 

realize 

I 

couldn't 

do 

this 

this 

work 

anymore. 

Not 

that 

way 

anyway, 

(···0.8s) 

and 

it 

took 

that 

heart 

attack 

for 

me 

to 

learn 

methods 

to 

manage 

this 

beast 

of 

work 

and 

reduce 

caseloads 

to 

provide 

certainty 

of 

outcome, 

develop 

relationships 

that 

sustain 

continued 

resolution. 

(···0.8s) 

This 

will 

give 

you 

power 

over 

your 

lives 

and 

provide 

joy 

in 

all 

your 

relationships, 

both 

in 

and 

out 

of 

court. 

(···0.8s) 

Think 

of 

it 

this 

way. 

Is 

there 

any 

doubt 

that 

the 

times 

they 

are 

changing? 

Chemistry 

Teacher 

once 

told 

me 

that 

the 

only 

constant 

in 

life 

is 

change. 

(···0.5s) 

Delta, 

he 

called 

it. 

If 

you 

took 

high 

school 

chemistry, 

you 

know 

what 

I'm 

talking 

about. 

But 

yeah, 

mediation 

and 

collaboration 

are 

now 

part 

of 

that 

change. 

They 

are 

becoming 

the 

norm. 

Litigation 

(···0.8s) 

may 

never 

go 

away 

completely, 

(···0.7s) 

but 

I'm 

telling 

you, 

it's 

already 

on 

its 

way 

out. 

You, 

you 

can 

get 

ahead 

of 

the 

curve 

now. 

Be 

among 

the 

adventurers, 

be 

one 

of 

the 

visionaries. 

Make 

your 

clients 

and 

you 

happier. 

(···0.6s) 

No 

one 

else 

loves 

you 

like 

a 

mediator. 

If 

you 

feel 

what 

I 

am 

saying 

and 

you 

want 

to 

lighten 

your 

caseload, 

be 

a 

visionary, 

make 

a 

difference 

in 

others, 

(···0.6s) 

in 

their 

lives 

and 

in 

your 

life, 

all 

you 

have 

to 

do 

is 

gimme 

a 

call. 

(···0.8s) 

Hit 

the 

link 

to 

book 

that 

call 

below, 

or 

if 

you're 

watching 

on 

LinkedIn, 

connect 

with 

me. 

Or 

if 

on 

YouTube, 

you 

know 

the 

story 

with 

that. 

It's 

like 

subscribe 

and 

share. 

I 

hope 

I'll 

see 

you 

for 

our 

next 

episode.